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Auditing humour

Discussion in 'Coffee Break and Community Discussion Forum' started by RoxaneB, May 30, 2016.

  1. RoxaneB

    RoxaneB Moderator Staff Member

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    I'm sitting in on a Day 1 Orientation as part of an assessment of our Orientation process. I'll be doing this for 4 of our 13 sites in the province. Day 1 of all the days in the 5-day Orientation process should be the most standardized. I expected this to be rather monotonous - I'm on my 2nd assessment out of the 4 - but so far, I've had some good laughs.

    SITE 1
    Regional Director - <snip blah blah blah...lots of energy...words...> And now that you know all about me, I'd love to hear more about you. Starting with...you. *looks at me*
    Me - Hi. I'm Roxane...from Corporate...on the 3rd floor...doing the assessment.
    *silence*
    RD - OMG! I didn't recognize you.
    Me - *shrugging* Well, I'm not wearing my glasses. And, let's face it...when we met a couple of months ago, you were sick. Last week when we met again, I was sick. We really haven't seen each other during our finest hours.
    RD - So nice to see you without a Kleenex!

    SITE 2
    Regional Director - Wow! Is it just me or is this group bigger than most?
    Supervisor - That was rude.
    RD - I meant in terms of numbers!...not...ummm...
    Supervisor - Girth?
     
    RoxaneB, May 30, 2016
    #1
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  2. Englishman Abroad

    Englishman Abroad Member

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    Our previous external ISO TS auditor had a good explanation of the Deming PDCA cycle:

    Please
    Dont
    Change
    Anything

    I wondered if this concept had made it across the pond?
     
    Englishman Abroad, Jun 3, 2016
    #2
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  3. Andy Nichols

    Andy Nichols Moderator Staff Member

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    RoxaneB - please change the title! It's an oxymoron!
     
    Andy Nichols, Jun 3, 2016
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  4. normzone

    normzone Well-Known Member

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    Oh, this is good...this rare genre is right up there with Steve Martins explanation about why he doesn't do plumbing jokes.

    Don't change a thing, [RoxanneB] - nice to see you without a kleenex.

    On a not even vaguely related note, I saved the following email exchange yesterday:

    Me: Customer has included a new aircraft worthiness requirement in this P.O. that I don't believe is applicable to us, either that or they have some unshared expectations we need to clarify

    Sales: But we shipped this to them before !

    Me: Yes, and it wasn't in those P.O.s - Please contact the customer

    Customer: OMG ! I didn't see that on the purchase requisition - the normal quality guy is on vacation, and the guy covering for him put that in - please disregard.

    Me: There is such a thing as a normal quality guy? And they get vacations ?

    Our Project Manager: I don't think there is such a thing as a normal quality guy. You can't be normal and do that thankless job. Not possible.
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2016
    normzone, Jun 3, 2016
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  5. ncwalker

    ncwalker Well-Known Member

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    Nothing beats "The Expert" sketch.

    I tell my kids it is almost EXACTLY like this. They keep telling me it's not possible. My oldest has been in the workforce a couple years now and he agrees. :)

     
    ncwalker, Jun 6, 2016
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