Customer Terms & Conditions for us, their Supplier

This is just barely on topic, but today I updated my personal list of amusing Terms & Conditions I come across as part of my review of such things. I thought I'd share the ongoing list and the latest addition with you -


Epidemic failure – 2% of product failing in same mode while under warranty triggers right to demand design change at customer option and seller expense

We agree to ten year warranty, spares supply, and one year EOL notice

Shipments five days earlier than target will be rejected, returned, and reshipped at your expense

Shipments five days later than the target will be rejected and cancelled

China ROHS compliance – product shall be labeled with how many years before ROHS substances will leak out

Counterfeit suspect parts will be confiscated by the customer, we replace at our cost, this liability does not lapse until a space vehicle has been launched

No research involving human subjects may be performed

No correction tape or write-overs, shall maintain work instructions

Any requirements waived in writing by the customer continue to stand regardless, despite any contract to the contrary

No child labor may be used, unless subcontracted through the southern Sudan

the customer will provide us forecast periodically, and we will prepare materials and production capacity to meet that forecast. But this does not constitute a purchase order, and they don't have to buy anything. But be ready, just in case.

Goods shall be free from design and specification defects and no problems dealing with the changeover of the last century or leap years are allowed either.

we will provide free medical care for our employees

Customer signoffs regarding drawings submitted to them for confirmation of design are only opinions and don’t count if we make what they ask us to and they don’t like it

Shipments going by sea must be by US flagged vessels, unless there’s not one available or it’s too expensive, in which case 45 days in advance you need written approval from the customer. If the customer doesn’t reply in a timely manner that’s not the customer’s problem.

All articles furnished on this purchase order must be of the quality specified, or in the event no quality is specified, must be of the best quality.

The FAA is not allowed to purchase drinking water unless safe water is not readily available. Also prohibited are magazine subscriptions, fans, cellphones, personalized stationary, coffee mugs, leather items, giveaway trinket items, IPADs, business cards, storage units,

The customer’s terms and conditions are the default, they automatically take objection to your terms and conditions regardless of whether they influence this order or not

Buyer rejects any variance by seller from this P.O. – but they don’t reject your offer, unless it affects description, quantity, price or delivery.

Buyer’s description of warranty supercedes any other

Anything invented during the course of meeting this P.O. belongs to the customer

Regardless of any communications verbal or written by technical persons, buyers, or company officers, no one may make modifications to this order unless they are the designated person assigned to do so.

Seller is required, upon request, to be able to provide proof that we monitor and measure our greenhouse gases emissions.

Supplier is to retain all documents related to the product for a duration of “Forever”, as well as support the computer hardware/software it is maintained on.

Written minutes of pertinent and significant discussions between the buyer and the seller shall be taken by the seller and submitted to the buyer for review within ten days

There may be other terms and conditions that we have not told you of, but nonetheless you are bound by them

Ship exact quantities – extras belong to the customer at no charge

Supplier must inspect product before shipping to prevent shipping nonconformances. But this does not excuse them from still having to ship the product.

buyer can change the product requirements, quantity, price, and delivery date any time they want to, and we still have to deliver

HEADINGS
The descriptive headings contained in this Order are for convenience of reference only and in no way define, limit or describe the scope or intent of this Order


Seller must ship exact quantity of parts, buyer retains any extra at no charge


If you hire one of our employees away from us, you will pay us the value of that employee’s salary for one year.

 

Nicely done. Already looking forward to part 2.

...you forgot "and will flow these requirements through to sellers vendors and require them to do the same."

 

If at a later date it is determined that this work does not constitute a commercial item, then a different set of regulations applies. And if that determination results in the Buyer's income from that project being reduced, then the Buyer may make a reduction in the amount paid to the Seller. The Seller will promptly repay the amount demanded.

 

Supplier personnel will not be covered by Buyer employee benefit plans

 

We are permitted to ship up to fifteen days early.

However, we are not permitted to ship early if it would arrive in the last five business days of the month.