Sick of Being Disrespected by Coworker - Meeting Monday - Need Advice

I agree only to a very limited extent. Explain, clarify - yes. Convince, promote, market, younameit - no. This case is self-explanatory (assuming that we've been exposed to all the important facts; naturally the boss should also hear the other side). If the top dog needs explanation why harassment matters, and/or doesn't think he's responsible for the basic well being of each and every employee, the place is likely FUBAR.

I've seen people walked all over in the work place, and stay. Yes, some are desperate and some just have the taste for it, but it shouldn't be this way. We only have one life and we deserve to feel safe, welcome and able to contribute in the place where we spend the majority of our waking hours. Sometimes I'm shocked that many have come to believe that by coming to work we've agreed to a contract where for some payment we sell EVERYTHING, including our very self and our right for basic well being. No, it should be a mutual agreement between two interested parties. If a boss doesn't appreciate the contribution of a good worker and is not willing to keep his/her part of the deal, they don't deserve the time and efforts of that individual.

 

So after another very disrespectful email I called a meeting with my boss. He assured me that he would handle this situation and agreed that this other employees comments were disrespectful and that he had NO right whatsoever to say the things he did.

This employee likes to feel that they have some sort of authority over me. My boss made is clear that this person is not my boss, and I need to basically stop taking orders from him as well.

Any suggestions or ideas on a tackful and professional way to turn down this other employees attempt to boss me around?

Since my meeting with my boss this employee is still trying to rope me into doing things.

What can I reply to him to make it clear that I wont be taking orders from him, but in a polite and professional way?

Thanks in Advance.

 

Devil's advocate here...

Many posts here advise to "stick with the facts", and "leave emotion out of it", and I completely agree.

So what are the facts presented thus far?
From the OP: The guy is "egotistical and treats others like they don't do their job correctly", the OP has "been put down and degraded via email", in particular "he replies with snotty remarks, which would indicate that I am stupid or that I should know the answer". He appears to be bad at his job, and the OP notes that they are "NOT the only person he treats this way". Also: "My boss made is clear that this person is not my boss, and I need to basically stop taking orders from him as well."

Is this harassment, or just a difficult co-worker? Is this something that needs to be escalated to HR or upper-management, or is it something that can be dealt with through inter-personal communication, and personal fortitude? When we are saying "NO ONE needs to feel belittled", I agree. ...but when we are talking about feelings, who bears the greatest responsibility?

My advise is to confront the guy. Why do you need to be polite? Tell him he's being an a-hole, and that neither you, nor the other people he's "snotty" to aren't going to deal with him unless he can be respectful. If someone's not giving you respect, don't contort yourself trying to engage them politely.

Don't get me wrong, I sympathize, and for all I know the situation is much worse than presented...
But like I say, just playing devil's advocate, "stick[ing] with the facts" and "leav[ing] emotion out of it"...

 

He is a story from my HS days. A friend of mine kept stats during the football games. One player came up to him, looked at his chart and said "you missed my tackle on this play, and one on this play" etc. After each comment, my friend dutifully put a check mark crediting the tackle to the player. When the kid turned and left, he flipped his pencil and erased all the check marks.

So I guess if you want to be "polite" say sure and then walk away and ignore him.

 

Lol, I don't know if lying is the best policy!

I think polite would be: Sure, I would love to help you! But I/you/we need to check with my boss to see where it fits on my priorities. I've been pretty busy lately and I don't want to drop any important balls!

 

Miner is right, whatever he tells you to do, politely refer him to your boss. A simple "I'm in the middle of my own project right now, but if you need help ask (bosses name here)". I doubt he will

 

I love that!!! Thank you

 

Nikki,
You have great advices here.

My 2 cents, I can totally relate to you since you work at a small company and you do report to the owner of the company just like I do. I am pretty sure if I had similar problem, for sure the owner would still think of customer satisfaction and getting that check from them so we can all get paid He or other manager can see you as road blocker in this situation then.

But if you are confident that your process is built correctly then stick to your grounds and lay out this other manager's behavior in such a way that you are showing that it's not personally affecting you but its affecting the business.
The minute you bring in your OWN feelings to this conversation, it might be taken wrong way. Specially if that person is a manager and if he/she has been there for longer time than you are. Instead, just bring in from the "Not following Quality System Processes"s perspective. Tell your boss that if ppl like him (the manager) choses to go out of compliance such a way most of the time then it will be hard to get ISO 13485 for the company.

 

oops sorry, seems like my response was too late!

 

At least you kept your integrity. Who wants to advance in such an environment anyway?... Would you want to be a senior part of such a mechanism?